10 Rules to Help Avoid a Toxic Hobby

From Duke James the Holy:

10 rules to help avoid a toxic hobby

1. What other people think of you is none of your business.

This doesn't mean be a jerk and ignore their opinion, but if you are trying and working at being a better person then don't worry about the haters.

2. Stop beating yourself up you are a work in progress.

EVERYONE makes mistakes. Be remorseful and apologize even if it's to yourself and as long as you are trying to be better when you go to sleep than when you wake up it's ok.

3. Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle.

Yes there are tournaments and competitions but you really are only in competition with yourself.

4. Don't stumble over something behind you.

Let the past live in the past as long as you've done your part to make it the past.

5. Assume the good and doubt the bad.

That's pretty black and white.

6. Don't put the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket.

This is very difficult within the SCA we get caught up in awards and peerages and everything else that we can lose the joy of things. Its YOUR hobby go do the things you want and that bring you joy awards and peerage, especially peerage don't make you a better person your happiness will do that.

7. Worrying will never change the  outcome.

Worrying is not concern. Worries are anxiety and panic about things that really don't matter.

8. Don't let yesterday take up to much of today.

I could make a joke here about SCA time but I won't. This could mean a lot of things for different people too. But I say don't hold grudges. Apologize and move on. Forgive and forget. And above all communication is key. Stop the rumors and talk. Don't speculate.

9. The secret to having it all is believing you already do.

This is so very very true. The SCA is a magical place where just being a decent human can make you a rockstar.

10. Be yourself, everyone else is taken.

The SCA is made up of some of the most eclectic people you'll ever find. Don't be afraid you won't fit in. Don't try too hard. And love yourself and others will too.

Lastly I'll say this. Be accountable, be fair, know that you're only human and so is everyone else.  COMMUNITY NEEDS COMMUNICATION, NOT HE SAID SHE SAID. BE AN EXAMPLE NOT AN EXCUSE. And from time to time look at yourself and what's going on around you and look over that list to make sure it's not you turning your hobby toxic.